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By Terry Leslie

Oh to define a woman and decide that she is what you want. Women posses a very strong ability to change their own definition, which makes it rough on guys with specific preferences. Obviously, if you want to find a woman with the “image” you are looking for, then you have to frequent the right type of places that attract those type of women.

However, with a woman, you really are never quite sure that the package is going to match the insides. Changing drastically for a woman is only going to satisfy needs that do last beyond sunrise. Trying to be someone you”re not in order to attract a “type” of woman might not be as simplistic as we would like to think. Just because she looks hot, kinky, and even a little dirty when you meet her doesn”t mean she doesn”t have a business suit to slip into the next day.

If you want to fulfill needs on a larger scale, you”re going to have to get rid of the judgments you lay down on the packaging. Once you move beyond one night stands, the packaging may or may not represent an accurate picture. In so many cases, the woman you really want is the one that can fit into multiple images, and still look good wandering around your place in pajama pants and your old tee shirt.

Undefining the definable is a fun way to go on your own little private adventure with a woman that maintains the potential to knock your socks off.

Women who are willing to experiment with themselves and their outer packaging are also more willing to experiment in the bedroom, are more free spirited, and are generally more outgoing than women who are set in their own firm idea of how things (including their hair) should be. Change is a sign of growth and freedom. If you find a woman with the freedom to grow, you could be in for a seriously wild ride. It’’s not a age limiting condition, either.

If you find a free spirited woman who wants to find adventure and change her hats in her twenties, chances are she will still be changing her hats and finding adventure in her fifties. Women who have that luxurious freedom don”t usually give it up too quickly, no matter what comes along and no matter who demands they live out their lives in the same persona.

Fun is the name of the game with a great number of women, and thus the woman you meet is probably just one of the fun loving sides of her that you get to see up close and personal. Don”t be afraid of the woman who knows who she is and likes to change it up regularly. The direct benefit for your life is bound to a very positive experience.

About The Author

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By Chris Jensen

Acceptance is the first core value. It’’s absolutely vital that both partners accept each other the way they are. I have learned to celebrate both my husband’’s strengths and his weaknesses, but it didn”t happen overnight. He (we”ll call him Sam) can be a pretty flighty guy. He loses car keys, receipts, and cell phones without fail. He forgets appointments and doesn”t read the fine print before he signs his name on something.

As much as I love him, Sam just doesn”t care about details. That’’s who he is. But his brilliant and creative mind are something I love about him, and if you made Sam any less of a free spirit I”m convinced he would lose those traits I love so much. I”ve learned to accept the good with the bad. Yes, it irritates me when he spaces out, but that’’s Sam and I love him.

Biting your tongue is the second biggie in our marriage. We fight so little because both of us have learned to fight fair. No name-calling when we fight, and I always try to pause and think of how to phrase my statements in the most diplomatic way possible. For example, instead of “You never spend any time with me!” I”ll instead say, “I feel lonely” or “I miss you.” I try to stay away from statements that begin “you always” or “you never” at any cost. Those are sure to start a fight I didn”t mean to have.

Communication is the third vital part of our marriage. I”ve learned in my years of marriage that it’’s amazing how two people who know each other so well can still misunderstand each other. If he’’s frustrated about something that happened at work, I might misread his body language and think he’’s mad at me. If I”m sad because a good friend moved away, he might think I”m upset over something he did.

We need to verbalize our feelings and let the other know what’’s going on with us. Neither of us are mind readers. I”ve also learned that we take a lot of things for granted and don”t bother to spell them out for others because they”re just so obvious to us. But in a marriage you need to spell it out.

Just recently Sam and I were going to the mall to shop at J.C. Penney. It was raining so he said, “I”ll drop you off at the door.” I waited faithfully for 10 minutes by the mall entrance where he dropped me off, and he went straight to J.C. Penney and waited for me at the store entrance. Little communications like that happen with us all the time, just because we don”t spell out our expectations.

Try to avoid saying things like, “we don”t have enough sex” or “we”re spending too much money.” Quantify what you mean by subjective terms like ”too much” or ”not enough.” You”ll be shocked to learn how differently the two of you see things.

So we”ve found these three ABCs for a successful marriage, but really they can be applied to any relationship that’’s important to you. I hope you”ve learned something from Sam’’s and my mistakes! Have a great marriage and enjoy each other.

About The Author

Chris Jensen is a contributing author of Jetfly Blog. For more related articles and views visit http://jetflyblog.com/marriage-dating-blog now. Also, for the best up-to-date related online products, check out http://jetflyshop.com/nonfiction-books for todays current online deals.